What about me?

Don't you hate it when you sit down to write a blog post....  spend the whole 2 hours you have spare for the day writing it, then reread it to realise that it doesn't get even close to the whole point of what you were trying to say..........

So I sat down to ask the question "What about me?" and it ended up being a huge rant about how much of my life has changed since having the kids (which kinda goes without saying really.)  The point I was trying to make was that I just want to ask the universe:

- would it be ok if I have a few nights of good sleep (like maybe 5 or 6 hrs unbroken sleep... not asking for ridiculous amounts like 8 or 9 or anything) so that my back and my eye can heal (nothing major....  just niggly little things that need rest to get better.) It would be nice to go to bed at the same time as my husband and not feel guilty that I'm not doing housework and it would be nice to get up around the same time as everyone else, rather than having to be awake when everyone else is asleep, when I'm probably the one person in the house that needs it the most. 

- what about being able to go out looking and feeling nice, with my hair washed and straightened nicely (nothing like spending nearly $300 on a hair do, only to have it spend most of the time up in a pig tail because 11pm is just way to late to wash it and have the blow dryer on!), maybe even some makeup on too (but I know asking for that is probably pushing it a little bit.)  Oh, and if you could remind me to go to the toilet and clean my teeth before I leave the house, that would be great too. 

- can I have my birthdays back.  It's the only 1 day of the year that I really care about being made to feel special..... oh and maybe Mother's Day too....  and please don't ruin it again for me next year, cause I can never get my first one with Piper back and if you ruin next years, then I'll give up on the day altogether!  (At least there is a story why it was so screwed that I can tell her in years to come and at least Todd did make the best effort he could under the circumstances! I know another Mum who was in exactly the same situation and had her day absolutely screwed through no fault of hers or her husbands...  I don't think she even got a present, at least I got that.)

- is it too much to ask that I have just a little bit of time to get the place that I spend my entire life just a little bit tidy and organised.  I know that a toddler can cause the equivalent damage in 10 minutes that a cyclone can and I'm happy to clean up her mess each day, but if I could just get the rest of the house organised and tidy, it would make that job sooooo much easier (oh... and can you talk to my husband and, without nagging, cause I don't want to be a nag, but don't know how to ask nicely anymore without nagging, tell him that I am trying really hard to make sure that everything in this house has a home and that it is returned to that home after it is used and that empty spots in cupboard generally mean that something lives there already and is currently in use.... it isn't a new home for something else!)

- can I have just a bit of time to be able to blog without it coming at the expense of my sleep, caring for my children, loving my husband or getting much needed housework done.....  I have so many posts drafted in my head and given that I have such little adult contact, I don't get a chance to get out all of the good things and bad things and frustrating and exciting etc. things that happen and Todd has gotten to the point where when I talk, it's just words (a product of me not having anyone else to talk to....  I tell him so much boring crap about my days, that I don't blame him for filtering alot of it out!.)  It's not important to a lot of people that Mackenna just said 'sticker' as clear as day (one of the first 2 syllable words she has said absolutely correctly...  she almost says a lot more, but this was so clear!!) but a lot of people do care too and it seems unfair that I don't often get the opportunity to share these little milestones with the people who do care and only I get to enjoy them.

- can I make a plan to go to the chemist to have Piper weighed or to get to Playgroup on time or to go and visit someone and it just work out the way I want it to.  I'm not unreasonable in that I want to just be able to pick up and go...  I'm happy to put in the groundwork beforehand and I'm happy to plan for it for a day in advance, but can you just get all the planets aligned right so that the girls just do what they normally do and I can plan around that. 

That's all for now....  I hope that isn't too unreasonable.  I know there are more things that I'd like the universe to help me with, but I'm so bloody tired that I can barely even think about what Mackenna is going to have for dinner tonight (.... and oh shit, I forgot to organise anything for our dinner and it's now 5pm and way to late to defrost anything without having to put it in the microwave!)

And I know that I'm complaining about nothing and that I should just be happy that I have the most wonderful husband anyone could ask for and that I get to call the 2 most beautiful girls in the world my daughters, but it's ok for me to complain about it every now and then when I'm having a really bad day, when usually I don't complain much at all, isn't it?    Reading back over this, I can hear myself even saying "Welcome to life with 2 kids under 2" and "What about you?" and I'm happy to have all these little 'adversities' in my life, because I know that that is just life with 2 kids under 2, but when I work so hard to try and make it all function properly and when none of it ever seems to work, so I change the approach and that doesn't seem to work either and I do that over and over again.... at what point do you stop caring about everything all together and turn into Dr House and just do and say what you like, when you like without a care in the world of how you come across to other people or how it affects other people??  (Oh how I would just love to not care about anything the way he can!!!)

And I know I'm being very melodramatic about the whole thing and really, it isn't that bad....  but lack of sleep will do that too you!!!  I won't say that it will all be better tomorrow, cause that will depend on how much sleep I get tonight, but I'm sure it will be better.  Todd is home tomorrow cause of Ekka day, so I might get a bit of a chance to chill out and catch up on some rest......  (...  yeah, that's a nice dream... LOL!)